WHAT THE F*CK ARE YOU DOING ON THE STAGE?

Writer: Celine Våga

Translator: Ida Haraldstad

Web-distributor: Martha Evensen

The stage is set, the actors are nervous and the band is ready. It’s time for an Association Revue. The room is, hopefully, filled and the atmosphere is great. Most of the people here are ready to enjoy tonight’s show, but a group of people in the room are readying for something else entirely.

Most associations exert significant resources and a lot of time to present a revue for their fellow students. It involves writing, coordinating, inventing, solving, and organizing an entire ecosystem of creative antics and sketches. The performance on stage may vary, but we cannot undervalue the fact that those on stage have truly shown some courage. They have performed, and some may be fully outside their comfort-zone’s thick and safe walls. And those who have organized the revue deserve genuine praise. Imagine managing and tending to a group of left-footed baboons for a week (or more). And let’s not forget the band that has been in the scorching spotlight all evening. It is only fitting that when the curtain falls, tonight’s entertainment should be applauded, and praise should be given.

But here is where the ship hits the iceberg, and the whole shebang sinks. In that golden moment when honors and praises are to be bestowed with applause and snaps, the stage is hijacked. Whether they were invited or not, I have no idea. What I do know is that this group hasn’t sweated in front of the stage lights, or sung sour notes, or choreographed the clumsy waltz, or played the drums until their ears bled—at least not during tonight’s show. But there they are on stage as the curtain falls and applause rains down. The point of such a coup is not easy to discern. Is it meant as a ‘Look at us! Don’t forget that we exist too!’ or simply that they saw it as absolutely necessary to steal the spotlight from the inept actors, singers, and drummers?

I sincerely hope that this takeover is planned and clarified with the association hosting the revue, and that there is indeed a purpose in seizing the stage. That’s the only explanation that isn’t completely ridiculous. Because what the fuck else are you up there for? Perhaps it can be called ‘tradition’ in certain circles. But maybe it’s time to retire this kind of tradition, much like whaling and pancakes with tomato soup.

My applause goes to the guitarist who played incredibly well tonight. Or to the actor I saw becoming so good once he got into the groove. It’s not for you, who pulled yourself up on stage at the last moment just because you saw the opportunity. Hijacking the stage as the band is being thanked for tonight’s effort is extremely unnecessary and incredibly destructive for those who actually put in an effort tonight. The applause is not for you, so get back to your seat in the audience where you belong.